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  • Jaclyn Ann Mahoney

2018 Jan

Updated: Nov 23, 2020

13

I decided not to wait til I'm retired to have morning coffee on the porch

Hell its not even really my porch

Today I went out as I haven't done for too many days now

And the sun greet me.

The brilliance of the sky opened my eyes a little brighter. This familiar sensation that I seek, welcomed. Understood.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I notice a spider's web to my side So carefully designed and magnificently balanced. I realize I have been slightly off track. It doesn't look as magical as it once would've Is it the days that have passed without me looking? Before I can be too hard on myself I see. Her web is not without imperfections. Her path is not even nor perfectly straight. Yet as a whole it does more than serve its purpose. I feel it. There it is. I see the magic of the web The whole of my life The days I've gone without greeting the morning sun Are part of my web. They do not alter the whole story Although they may add variance to its design. I do not find the spider. But I know Yes, I CAN feel, She is me and I am so totally her. And in this moment I look up to see the sun now reaches above the roof tops and seems to be smiling with me.




14

Love is a feeling Love is an action All the things I do to feel good Is me loving myself! They aren't clearing blocks in me to find love They ARE love! Sometimes instead I comfort myself, When I'm not ready to stand in true love with myself. When I can't yet see the tangled story I've told myself Or someone else's I've bought into. Seeking to be understood and accepted Running from who I am when I've forgotten. But comfort only lasts so long It only brings a level of joy that pales in comparison to the blissful existence I have become accustomed to. Now I see the story, the tangled pattern that protected my heart from my soul's Truth for years, Ever Since I Remember. Out of fear. Of rejection. Of not being loved. But if I am my lover, and the universe holds an endless supply of love from which I can draw, then I can never be separated from love! And when I shut myself down from my soul Truth that is the worst rejection I can know.

To please her? To please him? I stand with me. I stand with love! And if they can reach me up here they are welcome to join me. I may be shaky but I must speak. I may waver but I must forge ahead. At times I may be a warrior But I WILL float again With ease In my river, my stream of high vibe unconditional love that flows from within and through and all around my heart, my soul, my Self, my Life Cuz this is MY story.

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